Can you control your spending — or does it control you?

People go on shopping sprees for a lot of reasons, and not all reasons are healthy. Do you go because you need something, or because you NEED something?

Out-of-control spending is when you are shopping, and you buy things you don’t need, because you are:

• Bored, frustrated, angry, depressed, and in need of some instant gratification.

• Going into a store intending to buy something specific, and ending up buying things you don’t need, or maybe don’t even want.

• Losing track of time in the store as you wander aimlessly, just looking around.

• Buying something you don’t need on the spur of the moment.

• Spending a lot of money on “stuff” on the internet or the TV shopping channels.

You are out of control when you buy things impulsively, and you feel bad and guilty.

Recognizing that you need help

First, you need to recognize that you are out of control – it’s the most necessary step. It may well come from a financial crisis, but it’s your wake-up call, and it may be the best thing that could happen to you.

You need to break the vicious cycle. It might be useful for you to get help – and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It could mean going to a psychologist, a social worker, your minister, or even an on-line forum where you can vent. Something is eating at you, or you wouldn’t be acting out. You may not want to hear it, but out-of-control spending is an addiction, just the same as any other addiction.

You may want to seek help from your spouse, close friends or relatives, but they may not be the best people to help you. They are too close to be objective, and they may in fact be enablers. You need help, not orders.

Some things you can do that might help

The following doesn’t address the core problem of why you are out-of-control, but it might help you in the short run. Just remember, though, that unless you address the core issue, these tactics are a stop-gap measure at best.

• If you are going into a store to buy a specific item, write it down. Write it on a nice, big note, preferably in a bright color. Use a Sharpie so it gets your attention. Write the note to say something like “I’m going into the store to get, (for example), a nightgown. I’m not going to look at anything else. I’m not going to buy anything else. I’m making this promise to myself.” Don’t put the note in your purse – that won’t do you any good. Carry it. Look at it. Keep letting it remind you what you are in there for, and that is all you are there for.

• Write a little note – something as simple as “Don’t!”. Tape the note to the back of your watchband. When you get in a situation where you are about to buy something impulsively, try to remember to look at your watchband. After a while you can use something like a simple rubber band around your wrist. It just becomes symbolic of those notes, and it makes you stop and think.

• Give yourself a little treat once in a while, especially if you have been trying really hard to not overspend, and you’re feeling deprived. The key, though, is a LITTLE treat. I like to take just a couple of dollars and go into the Dollar Tree store. I can look all over the place, and I can afford anything in there. I like getting picture frames, gift bags, wrapping paper, ribbon… They’re things I can use, and I’ve only spent a couple of dollars. It was fun, and I don’t feel guilty.

I don’t go shopping anymore unless I have to. I think I’m like an alcoholic who is off the wagon. I may not be doing any impulse buying anymore, but if I find myself in a store, I still get anxious.

When I leave the store, I sit in my car, listen to music for a little while, get myself calmed down, and then I drive home. On the way home I’m not wondering where my husband will be so I can get my package upstairs without him seeing it, or saying to myself “Why did I get that? Why did I get that?”

I just go home. I just go home, feeling good about myself.

Copyright Victoria Oliver. Contact the author to obtain permission for republication.

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Tags: Control, Control Spending   Posted in Debt Consolidation